Hell

[jackola]

This is seriously the best joke ever.

A man who's led a less-than-angelic life dies and goes to hell. And he's REALLY distraught by that, because he never really thought it existed. And that first morning, while nearly catatonic at the realization that he'll spend an eternity in repent, a voice pipes up behind him: "Hey, Buddy, what's the matter?"

It's the devil himself. And the man says, "Well, to be honest, I'm a little shocked that I'm here. I mean: This Is HELL!!"

The devil looks concerned and says, "Now listen, it's not as bad as you think! Hey, do you like to drink?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Then you're gonna love Mondays!! That's all we do on Mondays is drink!! Beer, wine, spirits, you name it. Drink it all up - you won't get sick, you won't have a hangover, it's terrific! Tell me, did ya like smoking on Earth?"

"Oh, sure, I smoked..."

"Well you'll love Tuesdays then! That's all we do on Tuesdays is smoke! We have pipes, cigars, cigarettes; you won't get lung cancer or have that hacking cough. It's great! Now, did you like hard drugs?"

"Well I dabbled a little," the man says, starting to get used to the idea, and enjoying it.

"Well you'll love Wednesdays! That's all we do on Wednesdays! There's coke, heroin, pills, hash, X. Get as high as you want, and forget it the next day! Now listen, are you gay?"

"Oh, God no!"

"Ooooh. Then you're gonna HATE Thursdays."

from socakid825

Comments

[bobert225.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha

[gardensgrey.livejournal.com]

That's really funny!

[garagedream.livejournal.com]

Haha! This is going in the "dinner party" file...

[cupids-crash.livejournal.com]

*looks forward to Thursday*

[lifehouse81.livejournal.com]

did u ever see the matthew shepard story that NBC produced with stockard channing?

they actually referenced this joke.... matt's dad heard it in a bar, and it was this thing about how he was pissed @ himself for not saying something against it.

weird.