news @ 9....

So my friend Sean is working on a new open for BSU's student-run news program. He asked me for an opinion on the opening music and I went off on a tangent:

jack: so, you composed this?
jack: ;)
sean: yeah right
jack: lol
jack: the hellicopter might be a bit much for ball state news
sean: well, yeah - but there are other cuts that don't have the chopper
jack: oh ok
jack: sounds like typical "OMG NEWS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!" music
sean: that's just the first one I shaved off the main file
jack: URGENT URGENT SOME GIRL IS DYING IN A HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW, LET"S GO TO CHRISTIAN CORRESPONDENT REPUBLICA FREEDOM FOR DETAILS
jack: "yes sean, it seems god's will is being intruded on by dirty hippy liberals."
jack: "well what is god's will, republica?"
jack: "well sean, the pastor Godlo Vesme says he knows exactly what god wants, thinks and believes. Let's go to him."
sean: ?
sean: lol
jack: "republica, the people wanting to pull the feeding tube are the same evil, against-the-status-quo devil worshippers that enable homosexuals and eat babies. clearly god will have revenge, or we can go ahead and act out that revenge for him."
jack: "you heard it here first people. amen"
jack: "thanks republica, you ignorant slut. in other news...."